So here it is, my first official blog. I gave this a lot of thought, and when it comes right down to it, my life is just too amazing and funny as of late not to share. I'll take this opportunity to introduce those who have been living in the dark ages to the events that have unfolded to this point. Let's start with the fact that I had a baby. Caught up yet? Okay, let's move on.
Can I just take a second here and say - not many people go into these situations knowing they will be a single mother. Not me, anyway. At first, I thought this was the best thing to happen to both of us - this would bring out the best in us, and we would create this loving, happy family - but I should've known better based on his track record. Ever the optimist, I smiled through the pain as my dreams caught fire and burned to the ground right in front of me. My pregnancy was a mixture of the best and worst days of my life. The best were the first time I felt her kick, the first time I looked down and noticed a bump, and of course, when I went into labor. The worst were sitting in an emergency room with a chronic alcoholic/addict throwing up all over me for three hours, being harassed and threatened via late-night phone calls and text messages, and finally, being abandoned completely. I spent my entire pregnancy worrying about a person who obviously had no care or concern for my well-being, when I should've been preparing for the greatest ride of my life.
And then came the moment I'd imagined, but never REALLY imagined: Emma was born. I can honestly say she wasn't the kind of baby I was expecting, but she is the kind of baby I needed. She cried ALL THE TIME, wanted to be constantly held, wouldn't sleep, and didn't eat well. I spent hours upon hours stressing about why she wasn't a "normal baby", and then one day it came to me. Why was I treating her like she knew what she was supposed to do? After some re-thinking, I realized that if I constantly held her, slept with her, and responded to her needs quickly, we were both happy.
I felt so alone and ashamed at first. How strange was it that I slept with my baby all the time? That I fed her on demand? That she didn't have a "schedule", and that I didn't let her cry it out? It took a while, but slowly, friends of mine started introducing the term "attachment parenting". I thought it was all a lot of hippie talk at first, to be completely honest, but after a couple months and many long discussions with friends, I learned to embrace the term. I am an "attachment parent." It's what MY baby needs, and what makes HER happy, and that's all that matters to me. She has her whole life to learn how to self-soothe and be independent. She needs me now, and frankly, I need her too.
So that's a little background on my life. Through this blog, I hope to put my own personal and comedic spin on my life as a Velcro-Mom/Single Mom/Attachment Mom, and any other moms that I become throughout my life...which, beginning Friday, will include "Mom of a One-Year Old!" Hopefully, it will be of some help to other moms out there struggling with some of the same issues. If not, well, maybe it will be good birth control.
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